Guide to Public ‘Time‑Out’ Prank with Vendor Recommendations

be fun while showing—in no uncertain terms—that the rules most follow are nothing more than social conventions. There are no legal boundaries stopping you from creating an ideal life ... or just being self- entertained and causing mass confusion. So, relaxing in public. Sounds easy, right? ’m somewhat famous for relaxing in style to get a laugh out of friends. Here is the deal, and I don’t care if you’re male or female, 20 or 60, Mongolian or Martian. I call the following a “time-out.” Once per day for two days, simply lie down in the middle of a crowded public place at some point. Lunchtime is ideal. It can be a well-trafficked sidewalk, the middle of a popular Starbucks, or a popular bar. There is no real technique involved. Just lie down and remain silent on the ground for about ten seconds, and then get up and continue on with whatever you were doing before. I used to do this at nightclubs to clear space for break-dancing circles. No one responded to pleading, but going catatonic on the ground did the trick. Don’t explain it at all. If someone asks about it after the fact (he or she will be too confused to ask you while you’re doing it for 10 seconds), just respond, “I just felt like lying down for a second.” The less you say, the funnier and more gratifying this will be. Do it on solo missions for the first two days, and then feel free to do it when with a group of friends. It’s a riot. It isn’t enough to think outside the box. Thinking is passive. Get used to acting outside the box. >» TOOLS AND TRICKS Looking Huge— Virtual Receptionist and IVR > Angel ( www.angel.com ) Get an 800 number with professional voice menu (voice recognition departments, extensions, etc.) in five minutes. Incredible. » Ring Central ( www.ringcentral.com ) Offers toll-free numbers, call screening and forwarding, voicemail, fax send and receive, and message alerts, all online. CD/DVD Duplication, Printing, and Product Packaging » AVC Corporation ( www.avccorp.com ) = SF Video ( www.sfvideo.com ) Local Fulfillment (fewer than 20 units shipped per week) = Mailing Fulfillment Service Association ( www.mfsanet.org ) End-to-End Fulfillment Companies (more than 20 units shipped per week, $500+ setup) HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_013932