Skip to main content
Skip to content
Depositions/DS10: EFTA01620904 (.mp4)

DS10: EFTA01620904 (.mp4)

DOJ EFTA Dataset 10 (Seized Media)·Wednesday, January 1, 2025·4m

Hello! It's nice to see you all here. Now, as the more perceptive of you have probably realized by...

94 segments~1K wordsSource
0:03
Hello! It's nice to see you all here.
0:08
Now, as the more perceptive of you have probably realized by now, this is hell.
0:17
I'm the devil. Good evening.
0:21
But you can call me Toby, if you like.
0:24
We try to keep things informal here, as well as infernal.
0:31
That's just my little joke.
0:37
Now, you're all here for eternity.
0:42
Which I hardly need tell you is a heck of a long time.
0:47
But I'm sure you'll all get to know each other pretty well by the end.
0:52
But for now, I'm going to have to divide you up into groups.
0:55
If that's okay. Can you hear me at the rack?
1:00
Well, if you'd stop screaming, that would help.
1:04
Okay. Now, murderers. Murderers.
1:07
Over here, please. Thank you very much indeed.
1:14
Looters and pillagers. Over here, please.
1:17
Thieves, if you could join us.
1:19
And lawyers, you're in that way.
1:21
Yes, there's plenty of room. If the hedge fund managers would just move along a time.
1:33
Fornicators, if you could step forward.
1:39
Step forward.
1:41
My God, there are a lot of you.
1:44
You're down here.
1:45
But first, if you could form a queue in front of that small guillotine in the corner.
1:50
Very much indeed.
1:54
The French.
1:57
I know.
2:08
The Americans.
2:10
Look, I'm sorry about this.
2:13
Apparently, God had little falling out with your founding fathers and damned the entire nation in perpetuity.
2:21
He sends particular condolences to the Mormons, who he realizes put in an awful lot of work.
2:30
Better mind. If you'd just like to come down here.
2:34
Yes.
2:34
If you'd just like to keep clear of that big space there, we're reserving for a Mr. Trump.
2:40
Atheists.
2:49
You must be feeling a right bunch of nitwits.
2:54
Come down here, please.
2:57
And everyone who saw Monty Python's Life of Brian.
3:05
I'm sorry.
3:08
Turns out God can't take a joke after all.
3:12
There, there, there.
3:15
They're good.
3:16
And Christians.
3:18
Christians?
3:20
Yes, I'm sorry.
3:21
I'm afraid the Jews were right.
3:31
Right.
3:31
Well, that's about it.
3:32
Are there any questions?
3:33
And, uh, yes.
3:36
No, I'm afraid we don't have any toilets.
3:40
I don't know if you've read your Bible, but I'm afraid it's damnation without relief.
3:45
If you didn't go before you came, then I'm afraid you're not going to enjoy yourself very much.
3:54
But then I believe that's the idea.
3:57
Okay, well, look, I'll see you all later at the barbecue.
4:02
Or rather, on the barbecue.
4:05
Um, and generally, I just hope that you all have a terrible time.
4:11
Um, I'd like to leave you actually with another little joke of mine.
4:15
I only know two jokes, informal, infernal, and, uh, and, and this one.
4:19
And this joke goes like this.
4:21
It is, knock, knock.
4:24
Who's there?
4:26
Death.
4:27
Death.
4:27
conclusion.
4:28
barber.
4:28
добivat.
4:29
I'm sorry.
4:29
I'm sorry.
4:30
I'm sorry.
4:32
I'm sorry.
4:33
I'm sorry.
4:33
I'm sorry.
4:33
I'm sorry.
4:34
I'm sorry.
4:35
I'm sorry.
4:35
I'm sorry.
4:36
It's Entrevill.
4:37
Add.
4:37
I'm sorry.
4:38
It seems to be like, oh, that's very interesting.
4:40
I love you again.
4:41
Can we wait?
4:42
Whatever.
4:43
It's just criminal error?
4:44
I love you again.
4:45
I love you.
4:47
Verse 6.
4:48
It's just criminal error.
4:50
I love you.
4:51
How do you get fun?
4:52
it's just journal everything in?
4:53
It's just a lie.
4:54
I love you.
4:54
But you love me again.
94 segmentsTranscribed by Epstein Pipeline (faster-whisper)