Satirical commentary on sperm flavor and fast‑food rumors

Cartoonist Mary Lawton depicted a character saying, “I just found out that alfalfa sprouts smell like sperm. Does this mean | should practice safe salad?” Yet humorist Jacqueline Shtuyote tells me that “Sperm is basically tasteless. The truth should be out about this. Men seem to think that their white stuff is a culinary delight, yet | know of no culinary courses extolling the flavor of sperm. And if, as rumored, Jack-in-the-Box cooks occasionally spill their cum on an irritating customer’ s hamburger, how many of us would be pleased with the added ingredient? “Why can’ t we find something that changes the flavor of cum? Then men could squirt red stuff that is raspberry flavored, or brown stuff that is chocolate flavored. Shy women could finally delight in swallowing their lover’ s cum. No sperm would ever be spit out again. There could be a pill to make cum taste like fast-food hamburgers. Maybe then we wouldn’ t mind if we found out that the secret sauce on top of Jack-in- the-Box hamburgers is, after all, sperm.” But let’ s not forget those who don’ t eat meat. They face an ethical dilemma--whether or not it’ s an acceptable practice for a vegetarian to give a blow job, and if so, is it all right to swallow? The general practice is that, yes, it’ s definitely okay to give a blow job because no animal is harmed in the process. And, yes, it’ s also okay to ingest the HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015349