Self‑promotional biography with eclectic achievements and personal anecdotes

This book will teach you the precise principles I have used to become the following: e » Princeton University guest lecturer in high-tech entrepreneurship e » First American in history to hold a Guinness World Record in tango e » Advisor to more than 30 world-record holders in professional and Olympic sports e » Wired magazine’s “Greatest Self-Promoter of 2008” e > National Chinese kickboxing champion e » Horseback archer (yabusame) in Nikko, Japan e > Political asylum researcher and activist e » MI'V breakdancer in Taiwan e > Hurling competitor in Ireland e » Actor on hit TV series in mainland China and Hong Kong (Human Cargo) How I got to this point is a tad less glamorous: 1977 Born 6 weeks premature and given a 10% chance of living. I survive instead and grow so fat that I can’t roll onto my stomach. A muscular imbalance of the eyes makes me look in opposite directions, and my mother refers to me affectionately as “tuna fish.” So far so good. 1983 Nearly fail kindergarten because I refuse to learn the alphabet. My teacher refuses to explain why I should learn it, opting instead for “I’m the teacher—that’s why.” I tell her that’s stupid and ask her to leave me alone so I can focus on drawing sharks. She sends me to the “bad table” instead and makes me eat a bar of soap. Disdain for authority begins. 1991 My first job. Ah, the memories. I’m hired for minimum wage as the cleaner at an ice cream HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_013809