From: "Francis Jardine-Deuss"

From: "Francis Jardine-Deuss" To: "Jan Deuss" cS, "John Demartini" cS, "John Gunderson" lgunderson®mclean.harvard.edu>, "Jeffrey Epstein" [email protected]> Subject: Fw: Date: Sun, 21 Jul 2013 06:07:03 +0000 I mportance: Normal Dear John... Francis Jardine-Deuss +27 82 788 5618 Sent from my BlackBerry Original Message From: "Francis Jardine-Deuss" Date: Sun, 21 Jul 2013 06:05:23 To: John Demartini Reply-To: Hello Dr Demartini I have had a lot on my mind and trying to process what needs to be dealt with in order of importance, so as to leave me functioning in a healthy manner, has been a challenge. I want to live life in an inspiring, free state of well being and wish that for all those in life as well. I feel like the space I'm in...doing work on cleaning up my life, reflecting on what has contributed to this point has left me and others in a space of a period of pause with regards to how to perceive my questions, statements, correspondence and interactions. The speculation based on a perceived history that was created as a result of not having an internal heading has caused much volatility in my life. Trying to suppress the inadequacies I've experienced on my journey through life has left me with very little in terms of who I really am. I am only now beginning with a waking up process to the reality that everything is pointing to the perception that I can't and don't have the ability to fully comprehend the gravity of my real situation, that my choices have not been my own and that I have been run by people who have participated in my life trying to glean from my actions what the best situation would be for me and if I look back at my life I realise that it lacked coherency and congruency in terms of the way a disciplined, directed mind would work. I have had an internal communion with the forces at play in the universe and realise that the way I was trying to nurture myself was not based on what the real divine order of life would be handing out. I am left in a broken down shell knowing that I need to change the direction my life was heading because not expressing aspects of myself was an internal judgement that now is being assessed and I realise my silence has been taken as consent and I feel led into this place that my soul is calling me to understand and identify. I feel that my contract with the universe and why I was manifested needs to be re addressed...I know I was called to be of service...to be a part of something, a member of a family, a friend, a companion. I have spent most of my life trying to numb my own needs because I didn't have the expression that enabled me a secure and prepared for place in terms of developing myself to fulfill the duties in terms of what's expected in the "real" world today if one wants to live an independent, free life of well being (being in a state of grace with gratitude and love for my body, mind and spirit) with wisdom and wealth so as to appreciate the whole grand organised design in equilibrium. In this moment I feel that my efforts to even try and express integrating the internal with the external has fallen so short because it only highlights the duality between what the search for a place in this earthly existence, living with an awareness of compromise can manifest. Being another and not at one. Experiencing both realms but never owning my own being. From, Francis. EFTA00965512 Francis Jardine-Deuss +27 82 788 5618 Sent from my BlackBerry EFTA00965513