EFTA Document EFTA01853471

To: on behalf of Elizabeth Ballard Sent Fri 9/30/2011 10:49:23 PM Subject Re: (no subject) Are you suffering from PPS? Dr. Elizabeth FR Ballard has identified Problem Portfolio Syndrome as a serious phenomenon that should be treated with great care. Symptoms include but are not limited to involuntary eye twitching, violent diarrhea, standing on window ledges contemplating the view, unexplained hives, hysterical and inconsolable sobbing, and delusions of poverty. Victims of PPS can often be found curled in a fetal position under the covers in a catatonic state. Treatments for PPS should be started immediately and should include an immediate IV injection of Haldol, followed by an IV drip of Valium and saline. Concurrently, the patient should be treated orally with extremely high quality chocolate in the highest doses patient can toolerate. It is recommended that the treating physician should get into bed with the patient to practice emergency body to body warming. It has been proven helpful for the treating physician to cover the patient with kisses while whispering soothing phrases. xoxoxoxoxoxo. On Fri, Sep 30, 2011 at 4:06 PM, wrote: no results yet you are the best i am having portfolio problems so preoccupied thank you for being a kind and caring Elizabeth F.R. Ballard 141 East 69th Street New York, NY 10021 EFTA_R1_00249053 EFTA01853471