Personal hospital anecdote involving a figure called “Mr. Ambition” and vague billion‑dollar deal

Mr. Ambition himself has described uncertainty as an "emotional amplifier"... but sometimes it amplifies in the wrong direction. After a week or so, I got fed up and cut things off. He asked when we would talk again, and I told him I didn't want to talk for a while. A few days later, I broke my neck in a bicycle accident. It's like a goddamn soap opera, isn't it? Sometimes I can't believe this stuff happens to me. TK OK ok Mr. Ambition showed up in my hospital room while no one else was around. I was no longer afraid that I might die, but I was leaden with morphine, and anxious. I awaited the neurosurgeons who would come install a big scary spinal brace, and I felt grateful and glad to see Mr. Ambition. I hadn't been certain he would come, although if he'd had such an accident, I would have moved Heaven and earth to go see him. "I came as soon as our friends told me," he said. "There are so many people who love you." He said my name, and spoke softly, and the words bruised my heart. "Thank you," I said inadequately. "I had to skip out on work to get here," he said, and sat next to my bed. "We're in the middle of important negotiations. A billion-dollar deal.” "I'm sorry,” I said. "Maybe you shouldn't have come.” He laughed. "Don't you think you're worth a billion dollars?” "Probably not," I said. He took my hand. "Is there anything I can get you?" he asked. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink before the surgery. "Tell me a story,” I requested. Mr. Ambition retold a story from Dostoevsky's The Idiot. It was about a big-hearted man who comes to a small community and befriends an outcast "fallen woman.” The big- hearted man gains high status in the community, but when people find out that he's friends with the marginalized sex worker, they become angry. Despite their condemnation, the man stays steadfastly loyal to his friend, and by seeing the way he cares about her, eventually the community accepts her too. It was exactly the kind of story I expected to hear from him. I thought of the moment, sitting in bed, where he'd said: "If you're strong enough, you can walk into a trap." The moment when I'd realized that I could fall in love with him. After Mr. Ambition finished the story, the doctors arrived with the brace. This contraption involved using power tools to put four screws directly into my skull, which stabilize seven pounds of metal. For realz. I was awake while they did it, too. Luckily I got local anesthesia, so the screws didn't hurt while they were going in -- but I heard the bone crunching, and I felt the pressure building. Also, my neck hurt a lot. It was reasonably horrible. Some of my friends said later that they arrived at the hospital and tried to get into my HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018629